Mickey vs. Jesus

First of all let me say “Fuck A Llama For God!!”. I just wanted to use my new free internet speech. Hopefully, I won’t get the 2 year in prison, $250,000 fine (the same penalty for vehicular manslaughter in California) being held over the heads of us evil twisted web creeps who want to turn all little kids into Jesus hating sex crazy communists. Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea.

While the government might not attack me, I probably will be getting a letter from the American Family Association and the Southern Baptist Brigade, threatening to boycott our site, and assault our (ha) advertisers. I’m not going to go into the obvious rant against bible thumping yahoos and their peculiar desire to have the entire world live their warped lifestyles, or spout about their kinky fascination with homosexuality. Instead I’d like to congratulate a corporate monster for standing up to these rightist dinosaurs: Disney.

As creepy as I find companies that make their bucks creating culture and entertaining children, I gotta tip my hat to Disney. In case you didn’t hear, the Baptists declared a boycott of Walt Disney World, all Disney products, and anything with a Mickey on it. No more Poohs for their already culturally starved children. No Snow White. No more Biker Stud Prison Camp III (wait, that’s something else, never mind).

Why this great wringing of gospel chaffed hand, and gnashing of prayer worn teeth? Because Disney has the audacity to offer health benefits to same-sex partners of employees. Gasp. You mean fags get health coverage too? How are they supposed to suffer the wrath of God with a good HMO? In a corporate culture where Mitsubishi is clear cutting rain forest, and Caterpillar is completely shafting domestic workers, these losers are upset at a company for giving its workers too much! Aarrgh! YOU DUMB FUCKERS! I hate to lapse into obscene insults, but I can’t believe I am the same species as these people, much less from the same country.

I talked to God, and Jesus is pissed.