Slayer Kills Again

Well, it happened again. Some stupid parents are suing a heavy metal band because the band turned their cute, innocent children into cold-hearted killing machines. Slayer is the latest victim of parental concern, a factor that will no doubt let them sell a bunch more records. It seems that as a result of Slayer’s rare blend of heavy metal music and Satanic imagery, two young boys tortured and raped a young girl. It seems pretty obvious to me that the band is at fault.

I mean how are parents supposed to raise their children in today’s society? They only have around 13 or 14 years to implant values on their kids before they start losing them to the piper’s call of the devil. I mean how can the institution of parenthood compare to a Slayer album? It’s obvious that something must be done to even the odds. I think suing a metal band will send a terrific message to the music industry that the work of Satan will not be appreciated here in the USA. His minions will have to be sent to England and Norway where they belong.

Parents who sue bands should themselves be put through Satanic rituals because they either a) are trying to blame their own shitty parenting/genes on a bunch of long haired freaks with guitars or b) (assuming that the album did have an effect, yeah right) raised kids incapable of resisting even something as basic as the urge to kill. I have listened to many a band singing about terrible things, and I haven’t killed anyone yet, and if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be for some stupid concept like “the devil”.

It all boils down to the fact that humans are capable of committing horrible atrocities on each other (and animals for that matter). What keeps us non-killers from destroying each other on a daily basis is a complicated grid of social pressures ranging from “I’ll go to jail” to “it’s morally wrong to torture” which are enforced by the state and interpersonal relationships. In a time of war, when social disruption is high, we tear each other to pieces, above and beyond the call to battle. Rape, torture, mutilation, everything, because there is no social stop sign. If you could kill someone you disliked and knew you’d never get caught, would you do it?

Granted, Slaughter playing Minor Threat songs on their new album might make me mad enough to kill, but I certainly wouldn’t admit to it in court. These parents need to take responsibility for the fact they raised killing monsters. Psychos are attracted to harsh music, harsh music doesn’t make psychos, but it’s always easiest to blame everything else before we blame ourselves.

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