The Dangerous Man

There’s a very dangerous man who lives near the office. We’ll just say his name is Chuck. This guy is a real menace. He drinks a lot. He gets stoned. He sleeps in a parking garage. He’s dirty. He tries to talk to you when you walk by. And sometimes he even has the nerve to go to the yuppie coffee shop across the street and ASK PEOPLE FOR SPARE CHANGE! Like they have 20 cents to just give away!

When he’s not sleeping (every night, that lazy ass!) or looking for food in garbage cans, Chuck attempts fool the passerby that he’s human by painting murals on the backs of cut up boxes (which he tries to sell). He even stays up sometimes and watches a TV that he “found”. Imagine, that, thinking he can partake in the great American pastime of television, just like he’s a normal person!

Well, the local police state came and took care of this problem. They captured this homeless threat and put him in jail for a week. They seized all of his “personal property” (a bunch of garbage if you ask me) and destroyed it. His paints, all his clothes, his TV set, and his big orange extension cord (which was actually given to him by a bleeding heart BGP employee, I might add), gone.

He was let out , and told, “if you don’t like the way you’re treated here, go somewhere else.” Well said. If caught enjoying his luxurious lifestyle in this part of the city again, Chuck will be jailed for months (which is where he belongs). I mean how the hell can I live guilt free with a bunch of homeless people around?

I’ll poison myself with a $4.00 pint of beer (with a dollar tip paid to the barkeep for that arduous task of pulling back the tap) , but these people don’t deserve shit. It’s not my fault they’re homeless, therefore I am morally justified to treat them like the animals they are. When it comes to not caring, I’m almost perfect.

See ya around Chuck.