Stinking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Mammals find their mates by sense of smell; fruity pheromones and chemical compatibility play a major role in all hairy species. Humans are mammals. It makes only makes sense that humans at some point were more attracted to smells than wallet sizes, cuteness, and other factors that make us desirable to other people (a creepy thing if you think about another organism being into you). Does this new selection process mean a “new evolution” for the human race? In today’s society, we cover ourselves with all kinds of anti-smell agents. Perfumes, deodorant, Breath Assure (the internal breath freshener, because inside we’re all sacks of rotting garbage), foot power, smelly shampoos, hair conditioners, etc. We never really get to smell someone until we get up close and personal, and then it’s usually too late; we’re probably hooked for at least a while. But does the fact that we may not be chemically compatible have something to do with higher divorce rates, that by the time we realize our body hates the other person’s body we’ve already had a few kids, and now have more reasons to hate the world? Obviously us big, over-evolved examples of God’s perfection on Earth are better than lowly animals (yeah, right) are far above relying purely on instinctual indicators on how to live our lives. But try defeating your own body. Go for a day without pissing, go for a week without sleeping, go for two weeks without eating, and watch how your instincts kick into action. Some people might accuse me of writing all this to justify why I usually stink up any room I enter with my mere presence. I would have to disagree. I just want to get hooked up with my perfect chemtype, and if imperfect matches are offended in the process, then they just have to go on with their unsuccessful sex lives. I wasn’t put on earth to smell good.