{"id":260,"date":"2008-10-07T15:21:55","date_gmt":"2008-10-07T20:21:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/?page_id=260"},"modified":"2008-10-07T15:21:55","modified_gmt":"2008-10-07T20:21:55","slug":"sunday-movie-conspiracy","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/?page_id=260","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Movie Conspiracy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica,ariel;\">Friends, there is a conspiracy among us. It is a monster that  threatens to tear our society apart at the seams. I&#8217;m not talking about  some weak Republican drug scare, or the destruction of the welfare state,  or even the complete destruction of marriage in this country. Oh no. What  I see is something far more nefarious, gripping, and relevant to our   lives. What I see  is something that none of us are immune to, no matter  what our station in life. What I see is Stupid Sunday Afternoon Movies, a  beast that takes in our weak bodies and spits out the bleached bones of  defeat, taking away the last day of the weekend and any hope of getting  anything done. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica,ariel;\">This is no accident. This is a dedicated plot of those who control the  media to keep us, the people with stuff to do, down.  I can&#8217;t even count  the number of times that I, detailed &#8220;to do&#8221;  list in hand, accidentally  brushed up against the &#8220;on&#8221; button on my TV only to find Police Academy  1-3 staring me in the face. &#8220;Just until  the next commercial&#8221; becomes,  &#8220;just until 3:00&#8221;, and pretty soon it&#8217;s 10:00 at night, my &#8220;to do&#8221; list  is permanently sealed onto my chest with drool, my muscles have atrophied  from disuse and malnutrition, and my weekend is over. I can drag myself  into bed if I&#8217;m lucky. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica,ariel;\">As proof of this conspiracy, I charted stupid Sunday movie quality  against the amount of shit I had to do that day, and the results are  obvious: The more I had to do, the stupider the movie. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica,ariel;\"> <\/span><span style=\"font-family: helvetica,ariel;\">Don&#8217;t get me wrong. I do not enjoy any of these movies. I, however,  cannot resist them. There must  be some sort of subliminal waves keeping  me there. Down and out. If it weren&#8217;t for the Simpsons, I&#8217;d kill my TV. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Friends, there is a conspiracy among us. It is a monster that threatens to tear our society apart at the seams. I&#8217;m not talking about some weak Republican drug scare, or the destruction of the welfare state, or even the complete destruction of marriage in this country. Oh no. What I see is something far [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":61,"menu_order":70,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-260","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/260\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/61"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}