{"id":194,"date":"2008-10-07T14:44:52","date_gmt":"2008-10-07T19:44:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/?page_id=194"},"modified":"2008-10-07T14:44:52","modified_gmt":"2008-10-07T19:44:52","slug":"advantages-of-living-in-a-sketchy-neighborhood","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/?page_id=194","title":{"rendered":"Advantages of Living in a Sketchy Neighborhood"},"content":{"rendered":"

Advantages of Living in a Sketchy Neighborhood <\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes having a sense of humor helps when you live in a poophole. I came up with the following list of things that I appreciate about the place where I live.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n
  1. Liquor stores on every block.<\/li>\n
  2. When my apartment gets broken into I can usually buy all my stuff back from the pawn shop across the street for a reasonable price.<\/li>\n
  3. Constant bass-pumping low riders eliminates need the for a stereo.<\/li>\n
  4. There’s always a nice broken beer bottle within reach to defend myself during my daily mugging attempt.<\/li>\n
  5. I don’t have to worry about paying my bills, because my mail gets stolen, and my landlord won’t even go near the place.<\/li>\n
  6. Drive-by shootings keep the bear population in check.<\/li>\n
  7. I don’t have to worry about making trash day; I just put it outside for the wild dogs.<\/li>\n
  8. I can score drugs, guns, hookers, or stolen credit cards without leaving the front porch.<\/li>\n
  9. There’s always a cop around, unfortunately, he’s usually making deals with my neighbors.<\/li>\n
  10. Lots of places to dump a body.<\/li>\n
  11. It’s easy to lose weight because Burger King closes at dark, and no one delivers pizza to my street.<\/li>\n
  12. I’m never embarrassed about my beat up car, the mere fact it hasn’t been stolen yet is reason enough to beam with pride.<\/li>\n
  13. Nightly gunshot volleys make my too loud TV seem like small potatoes to the neighbors.<\/li>\n
  14. Rats eat the cockroaches and my cat eats the rats, which really cuts down on pet food costs.<\/li>\n
  15. I get to see my house on COPS all the time.<\/li>\n
  16. No unexpected friends drop by, in fact no friends stop by at all.<\/li>\n
  17. Door to door panhandling saves me from having to leave the house to get hit up for spare change.<\/li>\n
  18. Abundance of spent ammo casings and crack baggies on the ground allow for my lucrative urban jewelry side business.<\/li>\n
  19. Firing warning shots out the window keeps my handgun in proper working order.<\/li>\n
  20. If I get lonely I can talk to the drunk who sleeps in my doorway.<\/li>\n

    <\/span><\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Advantages of Living in a Sketchy Neighborhood Sometimes having a sense of humor helps when you live in a poophole. I came up with the following list of things that I appreciate about the place where I live. Liquor stores on every block. When my apartment gets broken into I can usually buy all my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":61,"menu_order":42,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-194","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=194"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/194\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/61"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blindwino.cyberphreak.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}